An Essay About Mom

I was nervous. I waited patiently for her to arrive while I sat beside my grandmother. I was staring at my picture in a frame when I was just a baby placed on top of the television rack when a tall, voluptuous, and 48-year old woman with a fair complexion and light-brown colored wavy hair came inside the house. She was wearing a blue razor-back top, a fitted jeans, two-inch stiletto, and a black pair of sunglass on top of her head.
I wasn’t convinced that she was my mother. You see, I haven’t seen her since I was a baby until that day, June 18, 2006 and until then, I was totally clueless on how she looked like. Aside from that fact, I looked exactly her opposite. I’m not tall, I’m chubby, and I never had the guts to wear what she was wearing.
As far as I knew, she went away and she never came back to see me. Since then, I planned to look for her when time comes that I would be able to do so. And I started doing it when I was 14.
I searched for her and just when I was a fresh sophomore at the University of the Philippines Baguio, my blocmate, who was from Nueva Ecija, told me that her mother was my mother’s sister’s friend. My blocmate gave my cellphone number to them, they texted me, and we planned how my mother and I would meet. My father did not know anything about it then.
Actually, I was the one who went to Nueva Ecija from Baguio to see her—just to take a look at this Melicia del Rosario Leonardo whose name I got from my birth certificate. I always wanted to know how the woman who gave birth to me looked like, or if I looked like her.
She hugged me and we spent the rest of the day at the mall with my new-found cousins. She left us later in the afternoon because she needed to do, which she said, something important. So that night, I waited for her to arrive while I lay down on her bed. She arrived at around 3 o’clock in the morning.
She lay down beside me and started talking to me about her past life as Mrs. Melicia Camacho—how she and my father met, how their life was when they were still together, and why they got separated. I listened to her even though I was really sleepy at the time. I wanted to hear from her.
I fell asleep as she was caressing my hair for the first time. It felt so good to feel a mother’s touch. I felt complete and contented for the first time.
The next day, I had to go back to Baguio. Before I left, she promised to be on my birthday. She gave me P2, 500 and accompanied me and my cousin, who was also studying in Baguio, to the van terminal.
I didn’t feel sad as I left my birthplace because I was assured that my mother would be with me on my birthday. Then I reached Baguio and waited for my birthday to come.
I was happy when I woke up on June 22 because I was expecting my mother to be with me on that special day. But the day ended without her, and without even a text message.
Days went by and I didn’t hear anything from her again. She never came to visit me in Baguio. I felt hopeless. I wished I didn’t spend the money she gave me so that I could have a remembrance of her.
The day I left Nueva Ecija was the last time I laid my eyes on her. I never wanted to go back to Baguio then, but I needed to. If only I was given more time to be with her, maybe I would be able to know her more.
Until now I’m still hoping that she would at least visit me. I never had her love and I know I will never have it ever. She already has the chance to show and give it to me if she really wants to but I guess she just don’t want to be my mother anymore, or she just don’t want me to be her daughter.
I didn’t feel any hatred or anger for her before, but now, I already do. No one can blame me. I tried not to feel it but she made me feel it.
Forever, I will be this child who’s always ignorant about a mother’s love and what a family really is. I never had a complete one. I will never have.

Broadcasting Ethics

Ethics came from the Greek word “ethika” that means character and nature. According to Encarta dictionary, ethics is the study of moral standards and how they affect conduct. Another given meaning is that ethics is a system of moral principles governing the appropriate conduct for an individual or group. In simple form, ethics are standards.
In the broadcasting industry, where there are a lot of systems and structures, and where accurate information dissemination is important, there also exist different ethics. One is institutional ethics that exist in media institutions, professional ethics in different professions that can also exist in media institutions and personal ethics as the basis of institutional and professional ethics.
Moreover, in the broadcasting industry, ethics help and aid every individual in the industry to do their work properly and appropriately. Ethics are their guide with their labor. Some issues in relation to ethics include the accuracy of their news and bribery as one of the hindrances, privacy of certain people they work with like witnesses and other interviewees to protect their personalities, and some “under-the-table” issues.
The industry created its own Code of Broadcasting which consisted of eight "rules." Four had to do with advertising and concern over "over-commercialization." The other rules dealt with general operations and responsible programming: no "fraudulent, deceptive or obscene" material. [1]
Issues or information that should be distributed to the public should first undergo in the 5 levels of control in the broadcast media standards. Such standards include individuals and personnel, next is the institution, then industry councils, government and lastly, the public.

The focus of this paper is on ethical issues that were disregarded by some of the broadcast institutions here in the Philippines. Ethical issues such as proper censorship/protection of interviewees who refused to be exposed and repetitive airing of news stories and sensationalizing of those news stories on the process were somehow side-tracked in the development of their news.
It has been observed from some news-oriented shows like TV Patrol of ABS-CBN and Imbestigador and i-WITNESS of GMA had, at some point, incurred violations on the Broadcasting Code of Ethics. These shows have violated the code to the extent of affecting its viewers in such a way that aimed to trigger emotions of its audience instead of just presenting the news as it is.
For TV Patrol, in one of their episodes, where they featured a news story about a boy who climbed an electrical tower in an attempt to catch the attention of the people around, they’ve repeatedly aired the story for duration of one week, changing only the presentation and focus of the news story in each presentation. What’s critical about that certain news was the repetitive showing of sensitive footages of the incident. The reporters even interviewed the boy’s parents right after the incident and asked how they felt about the incident. The reporters let the parents see the footage and asked for their reaction on it. What the reporters did was unethical and it was an indication that their news report was sensationalized. Sensationalizing a news story lessened objectivity. Letting the parents see the incident over again only increased the emotion they felt which made it harder on their part when it comes to accepting what happened.
The same case happened on an episode of i-WITNESS, a show which features documentaries or investigative reports. On their episode entitled “Basura”, which was hosted then by Jay Taruc, the story was about the lifestyle of people living by the Payatas Dumpsite. Its focus should’ve been just on the depiction of the people’s lifestyles but as the story progressed, the host infused issues about the incident that happened in the area years ago, the Payatas Tragedy wherein a lot of people from the area died and properties were damaged. The catch is that at first, they were showing people living their normal lives and they also seemed to depict people who have moved on but then, in one of the interviews, they asked their interviewees to refresh their memories of the incident and relate it to the public over again. It raised emotion on the interviewees’ parts and that act was somehow unethical as explained in the previous discussion.
In an episode of Imbestigador, hosted by Mike Enriquez, where they featured two boys who were allegedly possessed by Japanese soldiers buried near their homes, which made them able to speak the Japanese language, Imbestigador was supposed to hide the identities of the boys. They actually hid the boys’ identities by silhouetting their appearance yet, other interviewees, who were very much related to the boys in focus, were showed blatantly, unprotected, and deprived of their right to privacy/secrecy. That was unethical for witnesses and people who were highly concerned on an issue needs protection especially when it’s a sensitive issue. It showed the management’s irresponsibility and minimal concern for the people affected.

It seemed like the issues tackled and the people involved were not conscious of the ethics whether they’re following it or not. The ethics that operated on the above issues was the Situational Ethics. This is the type where it’s on a case-to-case basis. The shows were aimed to meet a goal but their method was considered unethical and it did not appeal to the public they were serving. The five levels of control of broadcast media then were not satisfied and so it made the programs inefficient and it did not serve its purpose well--the purpose to inform.
Sensationalism is unethical and it does not comply with the main function of broadcast media that is to be of service to the public in a way of giving off information objectively and at most accuracy. It is the responsibility of the media to disseminate accurate and factual information to the public and at the same time, it has the power to affect the public. The television, for example, had the ability to penetrate the private home and its potential obtrusiveness was the subject of concern. It was, after all, a "guest" in the home and in that capacity it was able to serve the public interest--informing, instructing and enlightening.[2]

Automation (Broadcasting)

Automation, which is also called roboticization, or industrial automation, or numerical control, refers to the use of control systems such as computers to control industrial machinery and processes, replacing human operators.[1]
Automation evolved from three interrelated trends in technology: the development of powered machinery for production operations; the introduction of powered equipment to move materials and work pieces during the manufacturing process; and the perfecting of control systems to regulate production, handling, and distribution.[2]
In its ideal form, automation implies elimination of all manual labor and the introduction of automatic controls, assuring accuracy and quality beyond human skills.[3]
There are principles required for a gadget to be considered as automated. One of the building blocks of automation is it should be a Power Source through which an action is produced. There are many sources of power available. One of which is electricity. Actions produced on the other hand have also two types: (1) processing and (2) transfer and positioning. First off is processing, which is literally processing an item into another. Such action entails the use of energy from a source. While on the other type of action (positioning and transferring), a product is brought to another area and in the process, uses energy. The transferred product is then left for the interpretation and use of humans. (e.g. video display units, printers)
Second principle of an automate system is that it serves as feedback control. Feedback controls are widely used in modern automated systems. A feedback control system consists of five basic components: (1) input, (2) process being controlled, (3) output, (4) sensing elements, and (5) controller and actuating devices. [4]
In the last principle, it states that an automated system has a programmed action to do and that its output is also definite. The system is pre-programmed to perform a certain process and a specific output is derived from it. The actions are repeatedly performed with continuous usage of the system.

Advantages commonly attributed to automation include higher production rates and increased productivity, more efficient use of materials, better product quality, improved safety, shorter workweeks for labor, and reduced factory lead times. Higher output and increased productivity have been two of the biggest reasons in justifying the use of automation. Despite the claims of high quality from good workmanship by humans, automated systems typically perform the manufacturing process with less variability than human workers, resulting in greater control and consistency of product quality. Also, increased process control makes more efficient use of materials, resulting in less scrap.
Automation not only gives flexibility to production, but it also can cut down costly lead times in changing from one production model to another, and it can control inventories to provide a continuous flow of materials without expensive storage requirements or investment in spare parts. Such efficiencies lower production cost and helps explain the growing strength in world markets of the Japanese, who first introduced the practice. Automation has also fostered the development of systems engineering, operations research, and linear programming.[5]
Worker safety is an important reason for automating an industrial operation. Automated systems often remove workers from the workplace, thus safeguarding them against the hazards of the factory environment. That’s why some countries have been promoting the use of robots in their workplace.
Robots, for example, which were designed for jobs like welding, painting or other health-hazardous jobs, can perform such works without injuring anyone’s health. These robots could work in either hot or freezing workplace and still managed to do the job well. In addition to this, the number of workers was decreased that led to lower expenses for salary.
Automation has eliminated much of the worker's boredom and has allowed the worker to change from a machine operator to a machine supervisor.[6]
Automation helps to keep a company’s cost down. In a business, automation is being used to type out all the paycheck on the payday. If automation is not present, there would be a need for more people in the payroll department to type all the paychecks out. It would be very expensive because the company will have to pay all those people who worked on typing the paychecks.
In larger companies, tracking cash flows and tax payments would be easier and faster. Everything is stored in a computer and all they need to do is retrieve the documents and print them all out if they need hard copies.
Banking and financial institutions have embraced automation in their operations—principally through computer technology—to facilitate the processing of large volumes of documents and financial transactions. The sorting of checks is done by optical character-recognition systems utilizing the special alphanumeric characters at the bottom of checks. Bank balances are computed and recorded using computer systems installed by virtually all financial institutions. Major banks have established electronic banking systems, including automatic teller machines. Located in places convenient for their customers, these automatic tellers permit users to complete basic transactions without requiring the assistance of bank personnel.[7]
The stock exchanges rely on computer-automated systems to report transactions by ticker tape or closed circuit television. Brokerage houses use a computerized record-keeping system to track their customers' accounts. Monthly statements indicating the status of each account are automatically prepared and mailed to customers. Account executives employ video monitors in their offices, backed by a massive database, to retrieve current information on each stock almost instantaneously while they discuss possible purchases with their clients. Stock certificates are typically issued with machine-readable identifications to facilitate record keeping in sales and exchanges.[8]
Credit card transactions have also become highly automated. Restaurants, retailers, and other organizations are using systems that automatically check the validity of a credit card and the credit standing of the cardholder in a matter of seconds as the customer waits for the transaction to be finalized. Some credit card transactions trigger immediate transfer of funds equal to the amount of the sale from the cardholder's account into the merchant's account.[9]
Computerized systems have been installed in most modern retail stores to speed sales transactions and automatically update inventory records as the stock of each item is reduced. A bar code is an identification symbol consisting of a series of wide and narrow bars attached to each product that can be scanned and recognized by a bar-code reader. At the cash registers, these readers quickly identify the items being purchased. As the sales associate scans across the symbol using a laser beam reader, the product is properly identified and its price is entered into the sales transaction. Simultaneously, a record of the sale is made in the inventory files so that the item can be reordered.[10]
Automation also helps to make products cheaper and more affordable.
Automation of service industries includes an assortment of applications as diverse as the services themselves, which include health care, banking, and other financial services, government, and retail trade.
In a hospital for example, the cashier would have a very hard job in recording all the patients’ bills if he/she will do it manually considering that almost everyday, a patient checks in and out. Aside from being able to do the job faster and easier, the hospital wouldn’t be wasting too much paper.
Also, there are already nurse computer terminals in every floor that helps the nurses monitor their patients. Other than recording the medical status and medicines taken by the patients, some of these systems are used to perform additional functions such as ordering drugs from the hospital pharmacy and calling for orderlies. The system provides an official record of the nursing care given to patients and is used by the nursing staff to give a report at shift-change time. The computer system is connected to the hospital's business office so that proper charges can be made to each patient's account for services rendered and medicines provided.[11] This way, the nurses will not need to run every now and then to the business office and they are able to do their job better.
One of the earliest practical applications of automation was in telephone switching. The first switching machines, invented near the end of the 19th century, were simple mechanical switches that were remotely controlled by the telephone user pushing buttons or turning a dial on the phone. Modern electronic telephone switching systems are based on highly sophisticated digital computers that perform functions such as monitoring thousands of telephone lines, determining which lines require service, storing the digits of each telephone number as it is being dialed, setting up the required connections, sending electrical signals to ring the receiver's phone, monitoring the call during its progress, and disconnecting the phone when the call is completed. These systems also are used to time and bill toll calls and to transmit billing information and other data relative to the business operations of the phone company. In addition to the various functions mentioned, the newest electronic systems automatically transfer calls to alternate numbers, call back the user when busy lines become free, and perform other customer services in response to dialed codes. These systems also perform function tests on their own operations, diagnose problems when they arise, and print out detailed instructions for repairs.[12]
Other applications of automation in communications systems include local area networks, communications satellites, and automated mail-sorting machines. A local area network (LAN) operates like an automated telephone company within a single building or group of buildings. Local area networks are generally capable of transmitting not only voice but also digital data between terminals in the system. Communications satellites have become essential for communicating telephone or video signals across great distances. Such communications would not be possible without the automated guidance systems that place and retain the satellites in predetermined orbits. Automatic mail-sorting machines have been developed for use in many post offices throughout the world to read codes on envelopes and sort the envelopes according to destination.[13]
Communication between employees is already possible without written memos or telephone calls. The use of Yahoo Messenger for instance can be a very efficient way of communicating with others. Two people can even talk to each other if both are using Yahoo Messenger with Voice.
Automation has been applied in various ways in the transportation industries. Applications include airline reservation systems, automatic pilots in aircraft and locomotives, and urban mass-transit systems. The airlines use computerized reservation systems to continuously monitor the status of all flights. With these systems, ticket agents at widely dispersed locations can obtain information about the availability of seats on any flight in a matter of seconds. The reservation systems compare requests for space with the status of each flight, grant space when available, and automatically update the reservation status files. Passengers can even receive their seat assignments well in advance of flight departures.[14]
Almost all commercial aircrafts are equipped with instruments called automatic pilots. Under normal flying conditions, these systems guide an airplane over a predetermined route by detecting changes in the aircraft's orientation and heading from gyroscopes and similar instruments and by providing appropriate control signals to the plane's steering mechanism. Automatic navigation systems and instrument landing systems operate by using radio signals from ground signal or warning that provide the aircraft with course directions for guidance.[15]
In Journalism alone, automation has given a big effect on how a newspaper is made. It has made the designing of the newspaper much easier and faster.
Using a combination of keyboard and mouse, the page elements—text, pictures, head-
line, and adverts—are located to the required layout by defining their space on the grid with
fine-line boxes into which the items are called by their appropriate catchline. . . By ‘drag-
ging’ with the mouse, the boxes can be altered endlessly in shape and size, or even tilted.
Layouts can be changed on screen, headlines re-arranged to a variety of shapes at a touch
Pictures, either colour or mono. . . can be enlarged in image or even adjusted in size by
mouse controls if a change of layout requires it. . . If an illustration that has arrived on the
page is required to be cut out, the mouse control quickly defines the outline and removes the
unwanted part of the picture. . .[16]

In addition, the computer also allows the changing of font styles and font sizes of the letters that are used in writing a certain story. As a result, the appearance of a newspaper becomes pleasing and organized because the design appears to be identical.
The main effect of automation in the field of Journalism is that it simplifies and speeds the editing, page make-up and printing processes as long as the journalist is very familiar with the world of computers. The editing and correction facility of a computer is more user-friendly than that of typewriters. Files and documents stored in the computer are more accessible with just a click unlike those that are still placed inside the drawers.[17]
Automation is also a source of several social issues. It has an impact on employment. Some say that there is decrease in employment while others say automation leads to higher employment.
Many government services are automated by means of computers and computerized databases. The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) of the U.S. government must review and approve the tax returns of millions of taxpayers each year. The detailed checking of returns is a task that has traditionally been done by large staffs of professional auditors on a sampled basis. In 1985 the IRS began using a computerized system to automate the auditing procedure for the 1984 returns. This system is programmed to perform the complex tax calculations on each return being audited. As tax laws change, the system is reprogrammed to do the calculations for the year. The computerized auditing system has permitted a substantial increase in the work load of the IRS auditing department without a corresponding increase in staffing.[18]
Just recently, the government was able to pass a law or ordinance saying that the elections to come are going to be done through automation—making the voting process until the canvassing computerized. Some automated jobs have accurate and true results, but with the case of the elections here in out country, it is quite impossible for automation to be successful in acquiring accurate and true results.

A main disadvantage often associated with automation is worker displacement. Despite the social benefits that might result from retraining displaced workers for other jobs, in almost all cases the worker whose job has been taken over by a machine undergoes a period of emotional stress. In addition to displacement from work, the worker may be displaced geographically. In order to find other work, an individual may have to relocate, which is another source of stress and higher expenses for their part.
Other disadvantages of automated equipment include the high capital expenditure required to invest in automation because an automated system can cost millions of dollars to design, fabricate, and install. A higher level of maintenance is needed for these than with a manually operated machine, and a generally lower degree of flexibility in terms of the possible products as compared with a manual system because even flexible automation is less flexible than humans, the most versatile machines of all.[19]
Also there are potential risks that automation technology will ultimately overpower rather than serve humankind. The risks include the possibility that workers will become slaves to automated machines, that the privacy of humans will be invaded by vast computer data networks, that human error in the management of technology will somehow endanger civilization, and that society will become dependent on automation for its economic well-being.
These dangers aside, automation technology, if used wisely and effectively, can yield substantial opportunities for the future. There is an opportunity to relieve humans from repetitive, hazardous, and unpleasant labor in all forms. And there is an opportunity for future automation technologies to provide a growing social and economic environment in which humans can enjoy a higher standard of living and a better way of life.[20]

Automation not only affects individual lives but it affects the society as a whole. With automation, labor input is reduced leaving all the work on machines, gadgets, etc. It has been a question whether workers employed in a company or a factory filled with machinery and the likes are really skilled or not. Yes, they know how to operate the machine but their work ends there. They rely much on what the machine does. The machine does much of the workload. The issue is focused on the education and training of the workers. With the wide use of automation with its wide variety of actions, humans become more and more futile when it comes to production. With less input, an action is performed which is sometimes beneficial, sometimes not.
The use of automated systems seems to be the most practical thing to do nowadays. Its convenience is used in many different ways and in many different aspects and areas of everyday life. For example, in radio stations before automation came into the picture they used manual consoles to segue music, mix, play, and air them. Now, they use computers installed digital mixers and consoles and program them to play and do the rest of the job. It is sometimes unmanned less the program needs a disc jockey for some talking. If we analyze it, we may say that radio stations are turning to be practical. Instead of hiring other personnel to operate a complicated console the disc jockey can be multi-tasking and man the computer at the same time. Plus, they get rid much of those dead airs because a computer is rather accurate in switching plays. It is program to perform such and only such anyway so less error can occur. But
at times when there are power interruption and internal defect within the computer it’s sometimes harder to recover.
Automation is also vital in the journalism field. It has made lay-outing, printing and other facets of this field easier. Its usage has become a norm and/or standard especially in the printing press where mass production is not possible when manually done especially that work is time restricted and publication is on a daily basis. Machinery is important and very critical to these kinds and areas of work.
For a final say, automation is efficient in saving time, effort and labor input in the part of humans but then it inflicts laziness because of too much reliance on automated machinery. It may be good to have something do all the work for you but it paralyses our skills as humans and makes us futile. It’s good that these tools are present but it is not right to abuse its usage and rely to it so much. Its benefits maybe sufficing but its aftereffects are threatening.






BIBLIOGRAPHY

Britannica 2006 (Automation)
Giles, Vic, and F. W. Hodgson. Creative Newspaper Design, 2nd ed. England: Focal Press, 1996.
www.wikipedia.com

this was my paper i passed on my broadcast communication 100 subject when i was in 2nd year college

From A Corner of Baguio City

Whenever I go to this place, I have to ride a Trancoville-Plaza jeepney. It passes through Harrison Road and Magsaysay Avenue. I would then get off the jeepney when I reach the fly-over going to La Trinidad. After crossing the two two-way streets, I would reach Adarna St. of Dizon Subdivision. From there, I would take around 200 steps to get in front of a brown grilled gate with a number eight on its side. Behind this gate is a three-storey, two-unit apartment with an off-white-painted body and green roof. The first and second floors are parts of the first unit and the third floor is another separate unit which has a separate entrance located at the side. I need not knock on the door anymore. I just enter the unit and there, an unusual living room appears before me—an empty, unfurnished living room with just a two-pane window and a mirror hanging on the wall. There’s this brown wooden stair leading to the second floor. On top of the stairs is a wooden harang to keep people from accidentally falling down the stairs. Facing the stairs is a mini refrigerator. Beside the refrigerator on the right side is the sink where a few used plates are still unwashed. Beside the sink is a plate organizer with only a few plates, and just in front of the organizer is a two-burner stove positioned sideward. Above it are three kitchen cabinets with other kitchen utensils inside. Beside the stove are the door of the restroom and another door of one of the three rooms in the unit. Two young ladies occupy that room—Mara and Ate Pate. To my left, a living-dining room appears. There’s an old television, a square monobloc table covered with a red table cloth, a few monobloc chairs, and a window with a peach-colored curtain. There are two other bedrooms. The room just beside the stairs is the room of Kuya Joey and Kuya Angel and the room adjacent to it is the room of Don and his older brother, Kuya Gel. Actually, Mara, Ate Pate, and Kuya Joey, Don, and Kuya Gel are cousins and Kuya Angel is Kuya Gel’s very close friend. I first went to that unit on June 8, 2005, Wednesday, with Don, who was my boyfriend at the time. I can still remember how hard the rain was on that day. When we got into the house, he introduced me to Kuya Angel who was the only person there at that time. Don and I had tocino and canned tuna for dinner, and went to bed at pass nine in the evening to sleep. The next day, I woke up beside a tall, chinito, and young man—this young man that I loved truly for the first time. It has become a part of my everyday life to go there especially when I have a lot of vacant time. Whenever he would take me to their apartment, our tambayan would be in their room, and there we would spend the rest of the time watching the television or just chatting about what happened to us that day. I sometimes sleep and often spend my weekends there with him and his brother and their cousins. Because of that I became a part of their family already. Whenever we were together, I would cook for him, we would do our school work together, clean their room which was most of the time a bit messy, and do our favorite pastime—eating. At night, before we go to sleep, it was our “ritual” to look outside the window beside his bed. From there we could both see the lights of the houses and buildings in the city. The tall buildings of the University of Baguio and Saint Louis University were also visible from that point. It was the best view I have ever seen since I came to Baguio. It was a very beautiful view that Don and I shared together from that spot of their apartment. That house saw how my 16th birthday celebration on the 22nd of June 2005 was spent, how I took care of him when he got sick for almost a week, how we worked hard to finish his Chemistry project, how he gently caressed my hair before we slept, how he pinched my cheeks after having tasted the food that I have cooked for him, how he hugged me so tight every time that I arrived there, how he whispered “Goodnight wifey…I love you,” when I was about to sleep. I was so overwhelmed by these experiences that I didn’t think our relationship would have an end. We both felt so secure with each other that the thought of having problems didn’t ever occur to us. Since we became lovers on May 18, 2005, we only had small fights which were just normal in a relationship, konting tampuhan as they say. But then, not every love story goes smoothly forever I guess. Even before when we were still friends, I already knew that he would be going to Spain, where his parents were working, sometime in November 2005. His flight was scheduled on the 18th of November. We were together for the last time on November 4-5 at their apartment with Kuya Gel and his girlfriend, Ate Lhai. Sadness and fear filled the atmosphere of the house. On the night of November 4, Don and I were talking in their room about how it was going to be once he’s already in Spain. We were both crying at that time. He promised me a lot of times that he would be back by May 2006. I didn’t want that night to end because I knew that that would be the last time that I would be with him. I was staring at his face, memorizing every detail of it. Although his eyes were wet because of crying, it still looked a lot like the eyes of Rain, the Korean actor/singer. His nose also looked like the nose of Rain. His lips were pinkish, though a little darker than the usual pink that we know. We almost didn’t sleep that night. We just wanted to talk while we looked outside the window and stared at the usual view that we were always staring at. The next day at around four o’clock in the afternoon, both of us had to go to the lowlands already—Don to their house in San Manuel, Pangasinan and I to my uncle’s house in La Union. Before we went out the house, I went back to their room to take a last look. I couldn’t stop myself from crying the moment I had a last look at the window beside his bed. I wasn’t sure at that time if I would be able to see the beauty of Baguio at night through that window again. I then closed the door of the room and had a glimpse of the entire second floor of the apartment—the monobloc table where we used to eat our meals, the stove where I would always cook his favorite foods, the sink that was always untidy, and the refrigerator that I once cleaned up because it was becoming so dirty and stinky. That was the last time I laid my eyes on that house.
Then Don flew to Spain on November 18. From that day, when he flew to Spain, I lost communication with him already. I didn’t know what happened to the promises he made and to the love that we shared together. Until now, I still can’t get over him. I still have no idea on how could I ever forget the times we spent together, most of them in their apartment. That house that I used to go to may seem to be just an ordinary house when seen from an elevated portion of New Lucban. Jeepneys and cabs may just be passing in front of it. Different kinds of people for sure are to occupy that house as long as it stands there. That house was witness to a love that was pure and true. It was where I once experienced how to be loved purely and faithfully. It was wherein once in my life, someone made me feel special and loved. That house became a witness to the ups and downs in our relationship. It was where we started dreaming and planning our future. It was where we had tons of laughter and tears together. Nowadays, whenever I go to the veranda of SM Baguio and see the big area of trees near Quirino Hill and Dreamland, I know, just below that area is that house—full of cherished memories and unforgettable scenes that have stayed in my mind and heart. Until now, I still can’t go back there because of what happened. Once in my life, going there was a part of my daily routine, but now, going there means recalling every single memory and event that Don and I both knew, which just makes me once again feel the pain that I felt on the day he flew to Spain. I still love him as much as I loved him before he left. I think I’ll always feel that way towards him. I’m still hoping that I could be with Don to continue the love that we once shared together the next time I visit that house on #8 Adarna St., Dizon Subdivision, Magsaysay Avenue, Baguio City.

September 08, 2006

newbie

now i have a blogsite..so now i can post what i want whenever i want...
what's next???
well i'm currently self-studying the french language...maybe one day i'll be in france and i'll be able to see the eifell tower for real..i'm sure it's more beautiful when it's real rather than when it's just on the pictures or brochures or something like that...

i'm currently into photgraphy and i really want a real SLR camera badly! i'm taking up a photojournalism class this semester. and yeah, i also want that digicam i saw in the photoshop earlier....19,000 Php!we are having a photo-taking activity in our class right now but my cam got jammed! tomorrow my dad will be sending me his camera for me to use..thank God!

it is my PASSION to dance.. i've always been in love with dancing! im in a dance group called SHADOWS, we're located here, in Baguio City, Philippines...we do hiphop, breakdancin, and stuff like that....i want to let everyone in the internet world that I AM A FANTASTIC DANCER!!!!!
there you go....i just said it...but i wish i could tell my dad, who was a total performer back in his days, about it...but then i counldn't. he would not want to see me dancing.i just want him to be proud of me, i want him to be in the audience and i want him to be clapping the loudest claps from the crowd...!!! but he was never proud about my dancing....he was never there to watch me perform, never there to clap or cheer for her unica hija...

i'm also into crossstitching right now...actually i've started doing the craft four years ago but then i had to stop because i got too busy with college life...but i saw my unfinished works so i've decided to finish 'em up one by one...one day i'll be hanging those works of mine on our wall...
that's it for now....